Weekend from Hell

I guess this is going to be my whining post. I am exhausted this morning. As usual I am up before the dawn, but it is the only time there is a sense of peace in the house. So here I sit at the keyboard. Exhausted and discouraged. Why? All weekend long, once again, as it has been for the last two years, the house was nothing but a revolving door of people. "Lisa" even invited people over for lunch after church yesterday. Spur of the moment as usual. And as she can't cook to save her life we of course had to stop and shell out over $60 in pizza to feed everyone.  I just grit my teeth and went along with it even though I was just dying for some peace and quiet in my own home.

All weekend - friends, neighbors, the ridiculous assortment of "cousins" who aren't actually related at all but that she calls cousins (aunts, uncles and on it goes). Hangers on-ers, down on their luckers, misfits with their equally dysfunctional children. (And my favorite house goblin, her sister Alice yanging on about a new organic cure all she's hawking and the perils of genetically modified food blah blah blah. Cripes. It might actually mean something if she was the picture of health, but she is always sick and miserable and completely off kilter mentally).

It has taken a while for it to dawn on me, but I think my wife "Lisa" - surrounds herself non-stop with activity and people to avoid intimacy with me. Not necessarily just physical intimacy. Emotional intimacy as well.

If the house is loaded up with people or she is running around like a chicken with its head lopped off, there can be no one-on-one talks about her behavior, no discussions about her spending habits, and certainly no discourse on how unfulfilled I (perhaps she as well?) am feeling about the marriage.

Every time I try to talk to her she is too tired, has a headache, is stressed out, has to get somewhere, etc. It has occurred to me that she has been "exhausted" for the last six months. In fact, everytime I try to talk to her she is suddenly "exhausted" and can we "leave it until later".

Isn't it supposed to be the women that want to talk? That want a good marriage? Aren't all us guys just bastards that plop down in front of the TV or tinker with our toys in the workshop or garage? Is this role reversal or is it only my marriage going down the shitter?